Monday, May 29, 2006

My mother asked why there any Asian Republican candidates running for office. At first I didn't really care because I don't have a desire to see Asian Republicans running for office, but then I came up with an answer and figured I'd better keep my mouth closed. To me, it's quite simple, really: conservative Asians are so absorbed in their own little worlds—primarily their families and their money—that they would never run for office. They listened to their parents who drilled into them the importance of financial stability and doing something "practical." In order for an Asian to get involved with politcs, that person has to be in some respects liberal, caring about social issues on a larger level, and I think that kind of person would end up with values very different from those of the Republican party. I guess I see the desire for Asian Republican politicians as self-defeating at best or utterly hypocritical at worst. People want to be represented, but they encourage their own to represent them; they leave that to other people to do and go on enjoying the freedom to live happy, contented, self-absorbed lives.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 3:43 PM :: (0) comments


  Friday, May 26, 2006
thoughts on friends from 05.13.06

Sometimes, I look at the friends of friends on sites like facebook, and it kind of scares me when my Asian friends have nearly all Asian friends (or "friends" since facebook doesn't say a whole lot about actual relationships). It also makes me wonder who I would have associated with if I had gone to a larger university and how that would have affected who I am now. Pure speculation...no one can really say how things would have been. Anyway, I'm thankful for the people God has brought into my life and for the growth and healing He has brought about in my life as a result of those (cross-cultural) relationships.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:46 PM :: (0) comments


good quote from 04.18.06

If you have the gift of frustration and the deep sense that the world is a mess, thank God for that; not everyone has that gift of vision. ~Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:45 PM :: (0) comments


church stuff from 04.19.06

I'm not sure I've ever been quite so aware of how my cultural background affects my understand what is Christian (Christ-like). This evening, instead of regular choir and orchestra rehearsal, the choir and orchestra met with some of the church elders to discuss the interim music and worship pastor. I am used to keeping opinons, especially criticisms, to myself, so I was left rather disheartened by hearing people express themselves, including serious "concerns," for nearly an hour and a half. As I walked out, I couldn't really make sense of what had happened in the meeting. What was the point?? It seemed like a bunch of stuff that didn't really need to be said, but then I remembered that for many people, the opportunity to be heard is necessary in order for them to feel validated. That complicates things because I had a hard time seeing Christ in the meeting, but given that observation, I guess allowing people the opportunity to speak when doing so communicates to them that they are of worth is a means of demonstrating the love of Christ.

With that said, acknowledging that anything I have to say may reflect total lack of cultural understanding, here are my reflections on this evening's meeting. While people acknowledged the strengths of the pastor and shared about ways in which he has blessed them during his time, the bulk of the meeting was spent on "concerns," and while I realize that people have both strengths and weaknesses and both must be addressed in a proper assessment, some things just struck me as odd and unconstructive. People would say that they loved Daniel but... That didn't make sense to me. It struck me as shallow, maybe even duplicitous...or something. I'm not even sure why that bothered me because I understood what they meant, and I'm sure I've said similar things before (I like so-and-so as a person but not so much as a...), maybe it was the word "love," maybe it was because we were at church. At one point someone used the phrase "in defense of Daniel..." If the person felt she needed to "defend" Daniel, was there a perceived attack? That left me thinking, "What's going on here? This isn't supposed to be an attack, but something's not right." Some people expressed their concerns in church language. "Outreach"𔄤people used to come to the church because they liked the music, but now it's all slow and lifeless. Others basically didn't think Daniel was adequately competent or talented. All that to say, tonight, I heard talented musicians wanting a leader more suited to their style; I did not hear the body of Christ. The body of Christ is not duplicitous and does not attack its own members.

We started talking about Daniel's strengths and then we moved on to people's concerns. By the end I had one nagging question: how many people would actually be willing to put in the effort to build Daniel up?? People talked about how he didn't give them what they needed to be better musicians. They talked about how his passion has dwindled to nothing since he's been here. People suggested decreased confidence and uncertainty about his role (because another person stepped in to do Easter). NO ONE mentioned ways of boosting Daniel's confidence. NO ONE said anything about working harder as musicians so that they could give more when Daniel didn't command it from them. NO ONE encouraged others to be more passionate in their music because conductors feed off of those their musicians as much as the musicians feed off the conductor. Yeah, yeah, so why didn't I?? Because I have no confidence (at least not in that setting...blame the violin, but that's another story)... And because I didn't think of it until after the meeting... The teacher side of me says that it's not an issue of talent because people can be taught if they are nurtured. I've taken conducting classes; I've seen people improve significantly (myself included—talk about starting out expressionless with boring beat patterns). The thing is that people saw Daniel's passion when he started; if we can help him get that back and then build him up so that he only gets better from there, I think he can be the director that people want him to be. I'm not sure people are willing to give him a chance, though; a couple people were mentioning wanting another person to come back, and one even said that probably 99% of the people would agree that this other person should come back. I'm kind of concerned about the outcome of the situation, but I think I'll be leaving around the same time the interim contract ends (also why I feel I shouldn't have much input)...meaning I won't have to deal with the aftermath. Heaviness.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:42 PM :: (0) comments


considering going to China from 03.19.06

I may have considered this if I didn't already have summer plans...

[School] is located in [city] China. A delegation from their school visited us in February. They are a middle/high Boarding school that is run and staff entirely by Christians, but they have a license to operate a school in [city] because they do not advertise themselves as a Christian School.

Every summer, they run a summer camp where they teach English in the morning and have sports camps in the afternoon. If you are interested in a short term mission, the camp is July 10-21. With airflights to [city] through Beijing, you would have to travel from July 7-24.

The cost would be about $500 to travel from Beijing to [city] and stay for 15 days. You could save $100 by taking the train, but I don't know how long that would be. I checked on roundtrip flights to Beijing from SFO on July 7 & 24 and the best fares are about $1000. So, for about $1500, you can travel to [city] for 18 days to teach English and/or sports. [School] also said they could arrange to teach you Mandarin while you are there. Also, if you know of students who want to go just to learn Mandarin and participate in sports camps, that would be OK also.

If you are interested, let me know and I will put you in touch with the head of the school.
. . .

P.S. They also added a supplement where you could spend two days touring in Beijing for about $330. My limited experience and investigation is that is a very high estimate. I would estimate you could easily tour for less than $200 for two days, including all meals and expenses.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:39 PM :: (0) comments


reading from 03.10.06

From my abnormal psych. text...

. . . People with different values and perspectives on life might show what appear to be unusual, and even deviant, lifestyles and ways of behaving to those who do not have teh same cultural background. Research findings have suggested two reasons why cultural considerations are important for understanding what might appear to be maladaptive behavior: (1) cultural factors play a role in many cases of apparent maladaption, and must be kept in mind in working clinically with individuals, and (2) what seems like maladaption might be regarded as normal in the individual's culture and may even help adjustment within that ethnic group.
. . .

Clinicians must be informed and have an open mind in drawing inferences from a patient's behavior . . . Some people with Chinese or Japanese backgrounds might use silence as an indication of respect and politeness rather than an unwillingness to speak, or they may believe it is inappropriate to verbally express disagreement with someone whom they perceive as an authority. In these cases, a silence would not indicate a lack of desire to continue speaking. Clinicians who work with people from other cultures should make it a point to understand their cultural characteristics.

I half want to e-mail that to the previously mentioned J. The latter paragraph actually made me laugh thinking about M.; she seemed frustrated with how much she talked during our sessions and seemed to think that I didn't want to talk to her. It still amuses me.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:38 PM :: (0) comments


culture and communication from 02.24.06

I was taught that, as Christians, we should always strive to speak the truth in love. Aside from the debate over whether that's taking Ephesians 4:15 out of context or not, that raised a question... What if we, as fallen humans, feel we can't speak the truth in love, is it better, then, to speak the truth in spite (or some other unloving motive) or to not say anything at all? From my observation, it seems to me that people's responses are more a result of their culture and/or temperament than of their Christian commitment. But is there a more inherently Christian response? Or is the more culturally acceptable response better (less offensive)? Or is this a moot point because falling short is falling short and no response is better?

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:35 PM :: (0) comments


interesting article

Habits of Highly Effective Justice Worker (kind of misleading title)

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:33 PM :: (0) comments


correspondences from 01.12.06

Can people really be in denial that multiculturalism exists? Over Christmas break I read The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: a Hmong child, her American doctors, and the collision of two cultures. Anyway, that book brought to mind some interactions from the fall of 2004 and made me feel the need to apologize for a somewhat intentional miscommunication.

My e-mail said:
Hi J.,

This may seem kind of weird or random, but I was just thinking that I owe you an apology. Last fall you asked if I would check in with you again after my appointment with Dr. H., and I said "yes" without any intent of doing so. In my mind it was an "Asian yes," which can me yes, no, I don't know, I don't care, or basically anything in between, and I didn't think much of it. I was reminded recently about cross-cultural communication, differences in understanding things, and the like, and I just wanted to apologize for being misleading and not holding to my word.

Her response said:

I appreciate your honesty and I accept your apology. The "Asian yes" works well in certain cultures and it is good that you know how to use it. In this culture it is wonderful to have you be honest and assertive...

I kind of feel like she just told me I don't belong in her world... I think she was trying to be affirming with her second sentence, but what she really seems to be saying is, "Stick with your own culture or learn how to function in mine." I find the whole situation highly ironic, especially considering J.'s position, but never mind that...the circumstances that led to our interaction constitute another complicated story (which some of you have heard).


****Thoughts on forgiveness and reconciliation written later:

I sent the e-mail of apology because I felt that as a Christian who may have offended another Christian, I needed to make things right. I didn't really know what to expect in response; I wasn't sure if I should expect a response...

So, my reading has had me thinking about more than intercultural interactions. A Peciular People: The Church As Culture in a Post-Christian Society got me thinking about forgiveness as a language unique and distinctive amongst Christians. However, I realize that in my e-mail I don't ask for it, and in her response she makes no mention of forgiveness either. Thus, as commented, the rather dry "I accept your apology." We are so unconditioned to speak the language of forgiveness even amongst Christians, yet that is what makes us who we are. We are Christians because we are forgiven. Do we take it for granted? Or is apology and acceptance of apology all there is to forgiveness? I really would like to know...

What forgiveness entails is somewhat questionable in my mind, but I do know that one uniquely Christian thing is lacking in the e-mail correspondence. And that is reconciliation, which involves relationship. Because the nature of our relationship was what you may call "professional," I don't feel as if I am in a position to pursue more of a relationship with this person, so while I may be forgiven, I can't say that I feel reconciled nor that I really desire to be. But that strikes me as hypocritical, as un-Christian, and it makes me wonder how we really see ourselves. I have struggles in "professional relationships" with other Christians because I think those relationships make us identify ourselves with various earthly roles, and we forget who we really are. We forget that ultimately, our relationship is one of interdependency as members of the Body of Christ, and we desire less what Jesus died for us to have.

Anyway, I don't really know what I'm going to do with J. Those are just my thoughts right now, and using myself as an example, I've shown that I am as guility as anyone of not living up to what Christ has called us to... It all makes me really sad because I know it's not just me, and I wonder if I can do anything about it or if I should just go along with it as I have already done.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:29 PM :: (0) comments


my reading from 12.23.05

From the book I just finished (The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Anne Fadiman):

"I remember countless occasions, after I had asked him to provide a rational explanation for a nonrational custom, when he just shook his head gently and said, 'Anne, may I explain to you again. The Hmong culture is not Cartesian.'"

"'You know, Anne,' he said quietly, 'when I am with a Hmong or a French or an American person, I am always the one who laughs last at a joke. I am the chameleon animal. You can place me anyplace, and I will survive, but I will not belong. I must tell you that I do not really belong anywhere.'"

"At Harvard [Medical School], all first-year students are required to take a course...in which they learn to work with interpreters...and ponder such conundrums as 'Can an American pediatrician truly explain a surgical consent form to newly arrived parents of a Southeast Asian baby?' and 'Is it ethical to use psychotherapy when therapist and patient are ethically unmatched?'"

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:26 PM :: (0) comments


covert racism from 12.22.05

My mom told me that her sister's mother-in-law's house was broken into yesterday(?) while she (the mother-in-law) was home and that a black male demanded that she give him money and then helped himself around the house after she gave him her wallet. She ran outside and screamed for help, but no one came to her assistance; the man eventually left, and she remained uninjured throughout the incident.

Besides the fact that breaking/entering and stealing money are wrong, two things bug me about this incident and how it was told. First, this happened in our neighborhood; my aunt's mother-in-law lives in the next cul-de-sac over from us, and the man was never caught. Not to mention he was able to enter with the doors locked and was not afraid to do so while to house was occupied... It's a bit unnerving.

Second (and some of you are wondering why I have to bring this up...sorry), why did this have to be racialized? I can't help but wonder if my mother could have told the story without mentioning that the guy was black. I should note that she didn't use the terms "black" or "African" or "African-American," which is probably why her inclusion of that detail bugs me; she didn't use the "N" term either but rather stuck with her preferred Chinese description, which is degrogatory regardless of whether a person intends the insult or not (I don't know if there are any "politically correct" Chinese terms for people of other races). It's so natural and yet so wrong. And I wonder if she meant anything by adding in the detail or if she said it because the person just so happened to be black, kind of like he was male.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:25 PM :: (0) comments


fun with co-workers from 11.21.05

Lunch today... Six teachers sitting very cozily around a little Room 9 table—three Korean, three Chinese (one of which is a Mandarin teacher)—trying to differentiate between the words for Chinese sticky rice (zòng), heavy (zhòng), and middle (zhong, long "first" tone). It kind of went like this:

Mrs. Jew (referring to the sticky rice): That is zòng.
Mr. Liou: Doesn't that mean heavy?
Mrs. Jew: Happy? No, that is kuài le.
Me: No, heavy.
Mrs. Jew: No, heavy is zhòng.
Mr. Kim: I thought that was middle.
Mrs. Jew: No, that is zhong. (draws a horizontal line the the air with her finger)

Mrs. Jew: Zòng, zhòng, and zhong (sorry, don't know how to get an "o" with a line about it)
Miss Yoon: They all sound the same to me.

Hahaha! What would we do without Mrs. Jew!

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:23 PM :: (0) comments


frustration from 11.19.05

Today I came across two statements that really bugged me...

"That means, don't buy products made in pagan nations like China."
This came from an article arguing that America is a Christian nation (the only?), so true Christians will spend their money where it will go to bolster the economy of the Christian nation... Otherwise, the person is not in accordance with God's laws, and there are implications that such a person is not truly a Christian. Somehow, that strikes me as ridiculous, and it also raises questions: are all products of China pagan? How about people?

"A Christian author alleges a new curriculum put out by the Bible Literacy Project spreads communist ideals."
I know nothing of this curriculum, but the statement struck me because I don't really have any problems with communist ideals. I have a problem with how certain political entities tried to achieve them, but I think the early church did an amazing job living them out. The author of this article seemed a little confused between communism and pluralism. Somehow, the de-emphasis of the individual is tied to the blending of all religions... How!? Anyway, I think teaching the Bible in public schools is bound to bring up all sorts of issues; it seems the Bible gets compromised or thrown out.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:19 PM :: (0) comments


news article found 10.16.05

I came across this article and was struck by this survey finding:

Asians were the least religious, leading in only one category -- religious skepticism -- and polling at the bottom of five other categories, including spirituality and religious commitment.

Later on in the article, Rhys Williams a sociology professor at the University of Chicago was quoted as having interpreted the data this way:

"Considering the high amount of Christian Asian student groups on campus these days, those should be higher," he said. However, he added, if middle-class students from India and Japan -- who tend to be more secular -- are included with the more devout Koreans, "that might have pulled down the Asian numbers."

Any other theories? The percentages by ethnic groups of students surveyed makes me kind of wonder... No, actually, I think what would be interesting to look at would be the break down of how long a student had been in this country.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:18 PM :: (0) comments


thoughts on suburbia from 09.24.05

My parents and I went to Chinatown (Oakland) today to pick up my grandparents after a bus tour. We went do dinner with them, and as we were walking back to the car, I was struck by how self-contained Chinatown really is. I've definitely thought about it before, but today I realized once again that a person really can live in Chinatown and not know that there is a "rest of the world."

Anyway, I've been trying to figure out what to make of my current situation, so with that in the back of my mind, I started thinking about suburbia... And it seems that while white suburbia is for the "exalted" middle class representative American, colored suburbia is for the misfit who hasn't quite made it in this country but thinks money can cover over identity crises.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:16 PM :: (0) comments


misc. thoughts from 08.09.05

Today my mother and I went to visit my grandparents. My grandmother fell down earlier this summer, and her arm is still immobilized because the fracture hasn’t healed. My mother has been going over to see her because she cannot do much without her arm and because she needs company. At first I didn’t understand the needing company part, but if I’ve ever had a conversation with you about “saving face,” it makes a lot of sense. My mom explained it as my grandmother not wanting her friends to think she was “lun jun” (clumsy, accident prone); she hasn’t wanted to go to Chinatown to socialize because she doesn’t want to have to explain it to everyone she sees. A lot of people who aren’t familiar with the obsession with “saving face” would probably think, “What kind of friends does she have!?” But it’s cultural…that’s the way things are. And I’m not saying it’s a good element of our culture, but what struck me about the whole situation is how deeply embedded the desire to “save face” is in the way people think and how far it’s permeated even their every day activities.

At the same time, though, I’m intrigued by what injury/convalescence can bring out in people. Last summer I got to see my dad taking care of my mother when she was going through radiation treatment; that was strikingly contrasted with my dad’s father who wanted my grandmother to go home as soon as possible after undergoing surgery while my parents, aunts, and uncles wanted her to stay in the hospital as long as possible so that she wouldn’t have to go back to doing all the housework until she had time to recover. My mom’s mother who is the dominant person on that side of the family is now dependent on others, which has affected how she expresses her appreciation for her family members. She actually said, “I love you” (in English) to me on the phone last night.

As we were driving to my grandparents’ house in Oakland, I noticed the neighborhood. Not that I hadn’t looked at it before, but this time I realized that a large part of why I never really saw economic disparity because I had grown up going in and out of it all the time. Honestly, when I went to Mississippi with the Racial Equality and Justice, I couldn’t really tell we were in a poor neighborhood because it didn’t look all that different from my grandparents’ (besides being in a different state). Once my apartment-mate in Ocean View was talking about not walking down certain streets on the East Side because they looked “seedy,” but I didn’t really see it. Last summer in Modesto, the other YFC intern didn’t want to drop me off “in the middle of the ghetto,” as she put it, without knowing we were at the right church; I just saw the church. Later that summer I really saw the disparity when we were walking through a South Side neighborhood that had sand/gravel instead of sidewalks on the sides of the streets; as we were walking through, we got a nicer area that had sidewalks and white people (which may or may not have been coincidental because we came across a lot of poor white people as well). Anyway, growing up, I knew that my dad’s parents had more money and that my mom wanted to get her parents out of the “bad part of Oakland,” but I guess I just really got comfortable with it.

Along those same lines, when we got home, my mom was telling me that some of the stuff we got from my grandparents was food they got from the church down the street from where they live. I felt really awkward about it; I felt like we were stealing food from people who need it when we can definitely afford it. After I thought about it, though, I started to get mixed feelings (why does life have to be so complicated?) because going back to the “saving face” issue, it’s almost as if they “need” the food for the purpose of giving it to their children’s families so that they can express their love and feel fulfilled. Especially considering how wealthy my dad’s family is, my mom’s parents would have serious inferiority problems if they didn’t have anything to give us. Anyway, it’s still a really weird situation.

One last observation from my grandparents’ house—I can’t escape the white Jesus! I think my grandfather is a Christian, and my grandmother may be as well; however, their home décor definitely does not give that away. Today I was looking at the pictures they have up since I think they put up some new ones since I’ve been there; to the side of the fireplace, they have a wall with shelves devoted entirely to family photos, and under the bottom shelf, tucked away in a corner, I saw a picture of Jesus (well, actually, a European looking male who I assume was supposed to represent Jesus) surrounded by children. I really wonder where they got that (maybe from the church down the street) and why they chose to display it. It seemed so out of place, seemingly forgotten in a corner of a living room with prominently displayed Chinese figures. It raises questions in my mind about the relevance of Christianity in their lives, not that Christianity cannot be relevant in non-Western cultures (obviously), but I wonder whether they accepted it in an attempt to assimilate.

:: redeemed4hisglory @ 11:11 PM :: (0) comments